Author Topic: Story time! - add a paragraph to the forum story!  (Read 24024 times)

Rich

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Story time! - add a paragraph to the forum story!
« on: March 07, 2011, 01:03:20 am »
A long time ago, on a forum long since departed, there was a story. A story of a man with amnesia, a pixie with an obsession for tying shoelaces together and an eastern-european kebab seller with a, some would say, unique selling pitch.

That story has long since died, but a new story can now begin!

The premise is simple. You, <insert name here> should write a piece of story that continues on from the last piece of story added to this thread. It can be any length - 1 sentence, 1 paragraph, 1 chapter, whatever. It can end at a paragraph break, it could end mid-sentence. All it really should have is continuity - so if the previous post ends on a cliffhanger, it would be wise to try and continue the story from there. Be warned, though: the story does have a strong risk of becoming silly or unpredictable, so don't worry too much about deep narrative or serious tone!

Simple enough. Ready? Here we go....!
« Last Edit: September 08, 2013, 12:49:42 pm by Rich »

Rich

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Re: Story time!
« Reply #1 on: March 07, 2011, 01:11:01 am »
Derek had a hangover, or at least that's what it felt like. All he really knew was that every single bit of him ached with the power of a million suns trapped in a thousand jam jars. He tried to open his eyes, but everything was way too bright and swirly to focus on: a tangle of reds,greens,blues and puces that made him nauseous everywhere he looked.

He tried to recall what had happened the night before, but all that came to him was tattered blue jeans with frayed holes in the knees, the taste of strawberries and the sound of kettle drums being played by a group of highly-inexperienced scottish bagpipe players.

Suddenly, he felt a jolt to the outside world and opened his eyes to see...

bameballs

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Re: Story time!
« Reply #2 on: March 11, 2011, 03:17:25 pm »
the inexperienced scottish bagpipe players strewn around the room, their kettle drums slong since abandoned with their tattered jeans. Derek stumbled to the kitchen to make some toast, but couldn't find any strawberry jam left in the house. Suddenly......
Don't toy with me you saucy minx.

Rich

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Re: Story time!
« Reply #3 on: March 21, 2011, 12:40:13 am »
... he remembered the emergency stash of jam he kept for emergency 'no-jam-in-the-house' situations. He dashed, rather haggardly, over to the picture of George Orwell wearing a plastic moustache on the wall, rapped it three times with his deft rapping skills, and opened it.

What he found behind the picture chilled him to the bone. His safe! It had been stolen! Instead, in it's place, there was...

SpookyFish

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Re: Story time!
« Reply #4 on: March 30, 2011, 08:55:11 am »
..... a small silver pocket watch, slightly battered and dirty. Curiosity got the better of him as he picked up the watch and flipped open the casing. To his surprise there was no clock face just a swirling grey vortex, hypnotic in nature, he tried to look away and drop the watch but he was transfixed on this beautiful swirling vortex of energy. This perfect energy vortex seemed to melt away all his cares and worries about jam and he could no longer feel any pain. Suddenly the room filled with a brilliant white light, he closed his eyes and felt a sudden gush of warm air, the light faded and when he opened his eyes he suddenly found himself.....

Rich

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Re: Story time!
« Reply #5 on: April 08, 2011, 11:10:34 pm »
...standing in the middle of a busy shopping arcade. People were hussling and bussling around him, dragging bags of shopping behind them. In the distance, he could see a large, stubbled kebab vendor who was having quite an animated, albeit silent, conversation with a ragged-looking man. A giant neon sign over the walkway proclaimed to passers-by 'Welcome To Paradise!' but to Derek it looked more like wasteland for the terminally affluent. He decided that was adequately pretentious so he pulled out a pencil and a small book from his coat pocket, opened it to a page titled 'Things you expect art students to say', then completely forgot what it was he was going to write down.

He stood for a moment trying to figure out what it was then, with a resigned sigh, he closed the book, put it back in his pocket and started walking towards the kebab seller.

SpookyFish

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Re: Story time!
« Reply #6 on: April 16, 2011, 08:50:09 am »
.... Donner and chips please mate.....

Rich

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Re: Story time!
« Reply #7 on: October 28, 2011, 10:27:30 pm »
The kebab vendor sneered at Derek.

"What iz thees 'Donner et Ships' you speek off? Oui onlee serve 'aute quizzine 'ere." said the vendor, in the worst impersonation of a French accent Derek had heard in quite some time.

"What?" replied Derek, "your van says 'Donner kebabs sold here' on the side of it, along with 'Chips a pound'. How can you not know what Donner and chips means?"

The vendor's face dropped, and his voice took on a far more 'northern' tone. "Management buyout, innit. Them lot in the fancy chairs decided that people didn't want whatcha call 'traditional British food'. No... them lot decided it should be all lardy-dah and posh and fancy, so now I gotta sell you...", he turns to the menu and slowly reads, "'Marocaine tranches d'agneau, served with a salade verte fraƮche dans un pain plat grec' rather than a 'Donner kebab'. So, do you want some Agnew in a greek payne or not?"

"Erm... yes?" Derek replied.

"Great!" the seller replied, and dutifully started slicing kebab meat off a revolving spit. At that moment, Derek saw something out the corner of his eye...

Rich

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Re: Story time!
« Reply #8 on: November 11, 2012, 03:14:45 pm »
...but didn't react quick enough before a large slab of floral print and shopping bags (which Derek could only assume was a woman) had barrelled into him, over him and out of sight.

'Crikey,' thought Derek as he picked himself up off the floor and checked his body for broken bones, 'people round here are a bit strange.'

'How do you know?' said a voice inside Derek's head. 'Maybe everyone here is normal and you are the strange one...'

'Who said that?' thought Derek.

'Look behind you' said the voice.

Derek turned, to see...

Rich

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Re: Story time! - add a paragraph to the forum story!
« Reply #9 on: September 08, 2013, 12:59:50 pm »
No-one in particular.

'Made you look!' said the voice in Derek's head.

'Not fair!' said Derek.

'Life isn't fair, mate. Do you know why you're here?'

'Not really. I woke up with memories of kettle drum-playing Scots, who may or may not have been Memories as they were right there. I then found that someone had stolen my secret stash of strawberry jam. There was a pocket watch with a vortex, this place, that "french" donner-kebab vendor, a rather large freight train that appeared to be wearing a floral dress, and now you. Frankly, I can't be sure of anything any more.'

'I don't know why you had to tell me all that,' said the voice. 'I am, after all, your sub-conscious'.

'Well, that seems pleasantly normal,' said Derek.

'Mate - nothing is normal round here. Follow me to the end of the road, and you'll see.'

 

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